Parenting in a Changing World: A call for responsibility and discipline, by Dr. Tukur Madu Yemi
As an educationist with over two decades of teaching experience across the primary, secondary, and tertiary levels, I have seen firsthand how the family unit shapes the destiny of a child. More than any teacher or school, it is the values and discipline instilled at home that determine a child’s future.
Sadly, what we are witnessing today is a growing parenting crisis. Many parents, perhaps out of love, guilt, or convenience, are raising children without a sense of accountability, self-discipline, or work ethic. While this overindulgence may seem harmless, the consequences are already evident in our classrooms, examination halls, and workplaces.
Let me give an example. During a recent school visit, I met an 8-year-old boy who refused to arrange his seat, bluntly telling the teacher, “That’s not my job; that’s for the cleaner.” In another instance, a 10-year-old girl left her plate on the table after being served by her mother. When asked to clear it, she casually replied, “That’s what the maid is for.” These attitudes, though subtle, are the early signs of a deeply entrenched entitlement culture.
Children today, even as young as five, are chauffeured to school while glued to tablets. Their bags are carried by drivers, and they refer to them condescendingly as “my driver.” In many homes, washing machines and domestic staff have replaced manual chores, yet parents still prevent children from lifting a finger. Where, then, do we expect them to learn self-reliance?
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In classrooms across Nigeria, the effect is glaring. Students are increasingly unmotivated, dependent, and lacking in resilience. They struggle with basic problem-solving, avoid hard work, and prefer shortcuts. Some cannot even write legibly or structure coherent answers without help. When given take-home assignments, they either copy from classmates or have someone else do it for them, often with their parents’ knowledge and approval.
The situation extends to our higher institutions, where students bribe lecturers for grades, patronise “miracle centres,” and even fake project work. Many final year students cannot defend their theses or conduct basic research. They were not trained to work hard or think independently. They were pampered through the system, and now they are overwhelmed by real-world demands.
This dangerous trend doesn’t stop at school gates, it follows them into the workplace. Human Resource departments across the country report a disturbing rise in graduates who cannot write formal memos, meet deadlines, or take initiative without supervision. Employers lament over young recruits who come late, give excuses, avoid tasks, and feel “entitled” to promotions and privileges they have not earned. Some get sacked within months because they lack the discipline and soft skills necessary for professional life.
During an NYSC orientation camp in the North-East, I asked a group of fresh graduates to prepare a simple meal for a team project. To my dismay, several could not boil water or wash cooking pots. One proudly said, “I’ve never cooked in my life, even at home.” How can such individuals cope in Nigeria’s competitive job market or life itself?
Even more troubling is the normalisation of academic dishonesty. It is no longer shocking to hear of parents bribing teachers to ensure their children pass exams or changing schools to centres notorious for leaked exam papers. In doing so, these parents unknowingly erode their children’s values and teach them that integrity is negotiable.
In many households, children have closets full of designer wear and the latest gadgets, but no books to stimulate their minds. They can recite lyrics from TikTok videos but cannot solve simple arithmetic or speak confidently in public. They are fluent in slang but struggle to express ideas in clear English.
Let me be clear: if you continually excuse your child from house chores, studying, and hard work, you are inadvertently telling them, “You are not responsible for your life.” And no matter how wealthy you are, no amount of money can substitute for discipline and character.
We must go back to the values that sustained previous generations. Our grandparents fetched water, helped on the farm, and trekked long distances to school, yet they built communities and raised families on values of discipline, respect, and hard work. Some of the most enduring African proverbs were coined by people with little or no formal education, yet their wisdom remains relevant.
A Hausa proverb rightly says: “Ka so naka, duniya ta ƙi shi”—“Overindulge your child, and society will reject him.” Similarly, a Yoruba adage warns: “Eni a nwo ki wooran”- “Those who make news don’t waste time watching it.” In other words, a child raised on TV, video games, and luxury without exposure to effort or responsibility is likely being prepared for failure.
The reality is this: life offers two unavoidable options the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. If you shield your children from hard truths and effort today, they will most likely face harder consequences tomorrow.
Some parents believe their wealth guarantees their children’s success. Let’s break that illusion with this quick reality check:
You help your child secure a job, but they constantly report late, insult clients, and cost the company a major contract. Will they be retained?
You hand over your business empire to your son or daughter, and in a few months, due to recklessness and poor management, your legacy collapses. Will you still be proud?
You establish a company for them, but they mismanage it and spend without accountability. Can wealth alone fix such failure?
It’s not about what you leave behind, properties, money, or titles, but what you instil in them. Integrity, empathy, discipline, humility, and critical thinking are what will sustain them.
Let us commit to raising a generation that is grounded, morally upright, and emotionally mature. Let us raise children who can cook, clean, read, think, and take responsibility for their actions. Let us raise young Nigerians who can lead themselves before they are entrusted with leading others.
“Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” — Proverbs 22:6.
Our children’s future is not built on indulgence and comfort but on character, responsibility, and discipline.
Dr. Tukur Madu Yemi writes from
Federal University of Kashere, Gombe.
Email: alhajitukur68@gmail.com
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